How to know people with anger issues in your environment & solutions
Everyone gets angry at some point, it’s normal and can be effective and beneficial in certain situations, like responding to threats of harm to a weak person a loved one, or even yourself..
Anger is a normal human reaction but not being able to control anger, can cause problems in one’s life, hence negatively affecting a person’s personal (health, relationships with people, etc.) and professional relationships.
Studies have shown that the inability to control anger can lead to cardiovascular diseases, bulimia (a life-threatening eating disorder), diabetes, and road accidents.
It is therefore important that psychological and medicinal treatments be considered when helping people deal with anger
management issues.
Now, what Are Anger Issues?
It’s simple; the inability of a person to control his or her temper or anger when provoked..
With that said, there’s something I want you reading this to realize and that is; You should realize that people with anger issues sometimes are usually those with a rough childhood, repressed emotions, and need to be heard.
Honestly, previously before now, I had this feeling that people with temper issues / those who are over-sensitive are cursed & need serious deliverance..
And my suggestion was that their brains be donated for further studies to know the cause & cure for the ugly situation.. Gosh!!
How could the world ever be a nice place with people like this..?
How can one live in this world when people like this still exist.?
Oversensitivity/anger issues are the cause of most
Failed marriages.
Failed relationships
Cultism
Headache in the work environment.
Bullying in schools..etc.
Now for me, the ability to view things from different perspectives and have a paradigm shift is what makes a matured mind.
I discussed this anger issue stuff with a few folks in a meeting and a reply by one guy who’s now my very good friend really swept me off my feet.. Here’s what he said..
I want you to know that I’m not saying anger issues are good. I’m saying this so you can approach what I’m about to write with an open mind.
Oversensitivity is not the cause of failed marriages or any of the points I motioned above.
Out of the numerous reasons, I think insensitivity to others’ needs should be number one.
I also don’t think pettiness should be a word.
Once someone stops tolerating shit and being Frank about how they feel, people tag them as being petty.
People with anger issues have and always will exist. So will cultism, abusive work environment, and bullying.
All these things are many more darkness will always exist.
The question is, are we part of the solution or problem? If we aren’t part of the solution, definitely we are part of the problem.
For instance, an undergraduate that embezzles and mismanages funds in his or her office will sure do no better in a government position.
A kid exposed to sexuality earlier will definitely want to explore his sexual desires early in life.
A boy who had no father figure may find it hard to connect with his masculinity.
These and many more seem like trivia issues but they all aggregate over time and cause societal issues.
I was probably in primary 3 or so when my cousin chased me down the passage of our family house with Cutlass swearing he’ll cut me to piece 🙂
Surely, one way or another, one will encounter someone with anger problems.
If you are not one, you will encounter one.
It’s a universal issue. Happens everywhere.
Recently a guy streamed live on twitch a shootout in a public area.
He planned, bought guns, stream it live, and shot at people.
He’s even got a discord channel. In America …not even in Nigeria or Africa.
There are many internal and external factors that lead to anger. Some internal factors can include mental instability, depression, or alcoholism.
While external factors can include situations that cause stress or anxiety, financial or professional issues, or family and relationship problems.
Anger/ temper Issue types in people
Anger can exit in several ways and in varying degrees of intensity:
Intrapersonal or inner Anger
This type of anger is directed toward one’s self and can include depressing thoughts and negative self-talk. People with this kind
of anger tend to punish themselves, denying themselves things they enjoy, even to the extent of denying basic needs like food and water.
Interpersonal or Outward Anger
This can be observed when you see a person verbally or physically outraged towards other people or things. It can include breaking things and attacking other people, as well as shouting and cursing.
Passive Anger
Also known as passive-aggressive behavior, this can include actions like being sarcastic or degrading toward others, giving others the silent treatment, and sulking.
Signs Of One Having Anger Issues
One may be experiencing issues with his or her anger
management if the following happens:
Always find yourself getting angry.
Frequently feel angry when you repeat yourself twice to a person when a message wasn’t clear..
The feeling that your anger is out of control,
Hurting others either verbally or physically,
Frequently feeling over questioned.
Always regretting something said or done when angry
Little or petty things make you angry..
With this said what then are the solutions to temper or anger issues?
There are several ways that you can deal with anger management. They include help from friends, family, or mental health professionals. But strategies for managing your anger issues on your own include the following:
1. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes before you react.
2. Think before Speaking
3. Try using the ‘I’ Statements
4. Take a time out.
5. listening to your favorite music.
6. Let Go of Grudges.
7. Use humor.
8. Ask for help.
1. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes before you react.
When you put yourself in another person’s shoes you would have a feeling of what it feels like if someone reacted to you in the same way you would have reacted to someone else.. this would guide your actions properly..
Take a moment to calm down and can think clearly, try to express your feelings in an assertive but non-confrontational way. You can state the concerns and frustrations you have clearly and directly without hurting the other people involved.
2. Think before Speaking
Anger frequently rises in the heat of the moment. It is easy to say or do the first thing that comes to mind. Take a few moments, however, to take a deep breath and think about the situation and what you should say or do. Encourage others in the situation to do the same.
A lot of what drives anger is focusing on the problem in a situation. Try instead to direct your efforts to resolve whatever it is that is causing your anger. It is helpful to remind yourself that anger won’t fix anything and it might actually make it worse.
3. Try using the ‘I’ Statements
Anger drives people to find others to blame, which naturally leads to finger-pointing. A constructive way to address a situation that is causing 3you anger is to frame it as an ‘I’ statement. For example, “I’m upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes” instead of “You never do any housework”.
4. Take a Timeout
I’ve found out that sometimes the best solution is to take a step back and walk away for a few moments. This not only helps to ease the tension of a tough situation, but also allows you to catch your breath, organize your thoughts, and gain your composure. This can also be useful if you are by yourself and the thoughts in your head are starting to make you angry. Close your eyes and take a deep breath and think of something pleasant that you like and enjoy.
For example; Physical activity has been shown to have positive effects on a person’s ability to control and manage anger by releasing powerful endorphins that relieve stress. If you feel anger building up inside you, going for a run or to the gym can help release those angry thoughts and feelings.
5. Try listening to your favorite music
I do this all the time whenever I get upset. It actually really helps to cool your mind down to normal..
6. Let Go of Grudges
Being able to forgive can dramatically decrease feelings of anger and lead to finding a solution to a problem. Forgiveness is a powerful tool and can be used effectively to deal with anger issues.
7. Use Humor
Fixing a little humor into a tense situation can go a long way in lowering the intensity of the moment. It can even shed light on the situation, and you might realize it’s not that terrible. Be careful not to use sarcasm, however, as that can hurt others’ feelings and
make things worse.
8. Ask for Help
Understand that you do not have to deal with your anger by yourself. Seek professional help from a trained psychiatrist or psychologist for anger issues if you believe it is out of control.
